Growing Back Together
by thgfreak1828
Summary: What really happened after Peeta returned to 12 after the war ended? Is he really ready to return to normal life with Katniss, and more importantly, is Katniss really ready to return to normal life with him? All characters belong to Suzanne Collins.
1. Chapter 1

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am 19 years old. I won The Hunger Games. I was the Mockingjay. Peeta is alive. Peeta loves me. Prim is dead. Coin is dead. Finnick is dead. Cinna is dead. My father is dead. Snow is dead. I should be dead._

I'm sitting fully clothed in the bathtub, in my old house in Victors Village. I rock back and forth with my knees pulled up to my chest, as I continue to try to sort out what is real and what is not, as I have every morning for the past two years.

_Peeta was taken by the Capitol. They turned him against me. He still isn't better. He will never be better. The games are over. The nightmares aren't over. Gale is in District 2. Haymitch is in District 12. I am in District 12. Peeta is in District 12._

I suddenly stop when I hear a knock on the door.

"Open up sweetheart. We have to leave in 10 minutes. You can whisper to yourself on the train." Haymitch yells.

The train? Then I remember. All of the remaining victors are supposed to have a meeting to discuss the future of Panem's government. Under Paylor, things are apparently getting better. Then again, anything is better than Snow.

I climb out of the tub and brush my hair. If my prep team were here, they would have a heart attack just looking at me. My hair is frizzy, my nails unpainted, my eyebrows uneven. They all have some reality T.V. show in the Capitol now, where they take average looking people and make them over into beautiful people. I've never seen it.

I enter the kitchen to find Haymitch sitting at my the table with Peeta, who I haven't seen for two months. I know it's hard for him. He said he loves me, but he still gets really bad flashbacks that are usually triggered by me, so I've made a pact to try and keep my distance from him until he gets better.

Apparently Peeta made cheese buns. The ones I like. I grab one and devour it in 10 seconds.

"Did you eat last night Katniss?" Peeta says.

"No. I wasn't hungry" and before he can start to lecture me for not eating, Effie Trinket enters through the front door. She doesn't even bother to knock.

"Good morning, good morning! Everyone better be ready to go in three minutes, it's going to be a big big big day!"

She crosses the room over to where I'm sitting.

"How are you dear?" she says.

"I'm alright."

"Just alright?"

"Look Effie, I don't want to talk about it. Not here, not now." She nods and goes over to see Haymitch. She's batting her eyelashes and talking in an odd high pitched tone. Peeta and I lock eyes across the table. He smirks at them. "Young love" I mouth to him and get a smile in return.

Effie suddenly realizes that we're going to be late to the train station. She's yelling the schedule at us as we board the train car. She knows though that neither Haymitch nor I are listening.

When we get inside the train car, I go over and sit on a couch. Peeta comes over and sits with me. He takes my hand and places it between his. The first contact we've had in months.

"This is a train like the one we took to the Capitol when we were in the games. Real or not real?"

"Real." I tell him. As the train pulls out of the station, I remember the first time the four of us were all on this train together. I was 16, I had just volunteered for Prim, and Haymitch was very drunk. He threw up all over himself, and I decided not to trust Peeta. What a difference 3 years can make.

This time, Haymitch is not drunk, I do trust Peeta, and the games are over. I sometimes have to remind myself of that. The games are over.

"How long until we get there Effie?" Peeta asks.

"About a day. You two can keep yourselves busy doing whatever you wish, you both have certainly spent enough time on this train to know your way around."

"Do you want to go watch T.V. or something?" Peeta asks me. I nod and we walk through the train to the car in the very back, with the windows all over. I freeze.

"Are you okay?" he looks concerned.

"I think so. It's just last time we were on this train I was certain I wasn't going to be coming back alive. I knew I had to do everything I could to keep you safe. But I couldn't"

I can feel myself starting to get worked up. Why can I never just deal with my problems like a normal person.

"It's okay Katniss." Peeta says gently "It's really okay"

"No, it's not okay Peeta. It's not okay because I shouldn't have let them separate us, and I should have done something, I should have done something to stop it but I didn't. And I let them take you and make you into their monster, and I'm sorry Peeta. I miss the way you were. Where your eyes had a softness, and you smiled at everything, and I just-I just-"

By now I'm a mess of tears. I throw myself down onto one of the seats in the corner, put my face in my hands and sob.

I haven't even talked to Peeta much since he returned to 12. He has been back for 3 months and I think I've spoken to him twice. I realize that it's not the events in the games that I'm feeling guilty about. I realize that I miss him.

Peeta comes and sits next to me. He looks confused, like he doesn't know what to do.

"Katniss I-"

"It's fine. It's really fine Peeta I promise."

"Katniss, come here" He says, and he pulls me against him. "I miss you so much. You know that right?"

"I know that. I miss you too" I respond.

"Do you want to go get something to eat?"

"I'm not really hungry right now. I think I'd like to lay down for a little while."

"Okay" Peeta says as he follows me to the nearest bedroom.

I pull back the covers and climb underneath them.

Peeta says "I'm going out to sit with Effie and Haymitch. If you need me, call me."

He turns to walk away. But I don't want him to leave me again. Not after I have him back.

"Peeta!" I yell and he comes running back in "What's wrong?"

"Will you stay with me?"

He comes over and sits on the edge of the bed. Then, he climbs under the covers next to me. I roll over so his chest is pressed against my back. I'm starting to drift off when I hear him whisper something in my ear. "Always."


	2. Chapter 2

When I wake up, it's dark outside the train. Peeta is still laying next to me. I sit up and rub my eyes.

"What time is it?" I ask him.

"8:30. Effie came to collect us for dinner, but we didn't want to wake you, so we let you sleep. Are you hungry?"

"Yeah" I say as we head to the dining car. Inside, we find Haymitch sitting at the table eating some type of chocolate cake.

"What do you want to eat Katniss?" Peeta asks me and I open the cabinets looking for something. I decide on some crackers. I've just about eaten the entire box when the phone on the wall rings. Peeta gets up to answer it.

"Hello? Hi Annie, what's up?"

Annie? Why is Annie calling Peeta?

"Sure Annie. We would love to. Oh, anything is fine with us. Sounds wonderful. Okay Annie. See you soon." He hangs up the phone.

"What was that?" I demand.

"Annie invited us over for dinner the night after tomorrow. She said she wants us to meet her and Finnick's son."

At the mention of Finnick's name I flinch. Some wounds will never close I guess.

After I'm finished eating, Peeta and I get up to leave, but Haymitch stops us.

"I want to talk to you two about something" he says.

Peeta and I both take a seat opposite him. He stares at us silently for a minute before he speaks.

"You two know we're going to the Capitol, right?"

Peeta glances at me, confused.

"Yeah Haymitch, we know where we're going. Why?"

"I just want you two to be mentally prepared is all. I know you've gotten better with the flashbacks and everything Peeta, and Katniss was pretty much holed up in Snow's mansion the last days she was there, but Paylor wanted me to tell you that if anything makes you uncomfortable, or you want to leave, you can. I'm just passing along the message."

"Uh, alright. Thanks Haymitch" Peeta says. "Do you know who else is going to be there?"

"Johanna, Beetee, Paylor, Annie, Plutarch, obviously all of us plus Effie, Ceasar is going to be there, probably interviewing you all, if you're up for it, and some other people I don't care to remember the names of."

"Okay Haymitch. Thanks. See you in the morning" Peeta says as he takes me by the hand and pulls me out of the room. We stand in the hallway looking out the window at the passing mountains.

"I can't believe we're going back there" I say to him.

"I can't either. I don't really know what to expect. My memories in the Capitol are pretty faded, or just tracker jacker induced"

I grimace. I don't like to be reminded of what Snow did to Peeta.

"I'm tired" I say, even though I really just want to crawl under the covers with Peeta.

"You just woke up" he looks at me quizzically.

I don't even respond. I just take him by the hand and pull him into the room I had taken a nap in earlier. I change into pajamas, as does Peeta. We climb into bed and turn the television on. It's news coverage from the Capitol.

The blue haired reporter is covering a story about a house fire that happened in District 9, which apparently killed everyone inside.

"So now their reporting on everything going on in Panem, not just stuff in the Capitol?" Peeta asks

"I guess, maybe they ran out of things to talk about"

We watch them cover a few more stories, when our faces appear on the screen.

I grab Peeta's arm. The headline reads "VICTORS COMING TO CAPITOL"

She gives the report, which just lists all of our names. She also informs the citizens of Panem that there will be a televised event tomorrow. I assume she means whatever meeting about the government were supposed to attend, but her next words cause the hairs on the back of my neck to rise.

"The seven remaining victors will be the jury for the trial of Thread, the former head peacekeeper of District 12."


	3. Chapter 3

I'm sitting in a cell in the Capitol, although I'm not sure why I'm there. I hear screaming in the distance. A metal door bangs open, and a masked peacekeeper drags a battered Peeta into the room. The peacekeeper says "What do you know? What do you know about the plan?"

"I don't know anything, I'm telling you the truth. I don't-"

"WHAT DO YOU KNOW" the peacekeeper screams at Peeta, and raises his whip. I try to run and stop him before he hurts Peeta, but I can't move.

"I'm telling you the truth, I don't know anything about the plan. Katniss and I got separated and-"

"DON'T MENTION HER NAME" the peacekeeper screams

"Where is she? Did you take her too?" he asks

The peacekeeper's lips curl into a sneer. "Why should I tell you? As far as you know, she could already be dead"

I start to shake, but I still cannot move. The peacekeeper raises his whip and hits Peeta twice across the face. He inhales sharply and continues to fire questions at Peeta, while I stand there motionless. I cannot save him.

The peacekeeper leaves eventually, and I try to get Peeta's attention but I cannot.

The door bangs open once again, but this time I know who it is before I even see his face. The stench of roses and blood overpowers me. I start to shake uncontrollably and I fall to the ground. President Snow begins to shock Peeta by pressing a button.

Peeta is crying out in pain, and I can't get to him. I can't reach him. I put my hands over my ears and scream, because the stench of Snow and the sight of Peeta being tortured while I stand here helpless is too much to bear.

I'm still screaming when I open my eyes. Then I realize I was having a nightmare.

Peeta sits up panicked. He climbs across from me and grabs my arms.

"It wasn't real Katniss, it wasn't real Katniss" he keeps repeating, until I stop screaming and remove my hands from my ears.

"I-I-Peeta-you were-I couldn't-Peeta" I stammer, unable to form a coherent thought. Peeta pulls me close and strokes my hair.

"Shhh, shhh. It's okay. Whatever it was, it was just a dream. It's not real."

I wrap my arms around Peeta and hold him tight. He does the same.

"Do you want to talk about it?" he says "Sometimes talking about my nightmares helps me get rid of them"

"We were in the Capitol. You were being whipped and electrocuted and I could smell Snow and, and, I couldn't stop them from hurting you. I couldn't get to you"

Peeta is about to respond when there's a knock at the door. We hear Effie's voice

"Katniss, are you alright? I heard quite a commotion. Sounded like-"

"She's fine Effie" Peeta interrupts, and his eyes meet mine.

"We're both fine. Go back to sleep. Don't worry about us"

"Alright, goodnight"

"Goodnight"

Peeta shakes his head after we hear her walk away.

"I guess the walls on this train aren't soundproof huh?"

"Was I really that loud?"

"Katniss you were screaming, understandably of course."

"I know. I'm sorry I woke you"

"You don't have to apologize. I get them too. The nightmares."

"Why don't you wake me up when you get one?"

"Because my nightmares are usually about losing you. Once I wake up and realize you're here, I'm fine." Peeta looks at me.

"I said that to you before, before the Quarter Quell. Real or not real."

"Real" I say as I snuggle back underneath the covers.

"We have to get some sleep." He tells me "We've got a big big big day!" he says, mocking Effie's silly Capitol accent.

I roll over and bury my face in the pillow.

"Goodnight Peeta"

"Goodnight Katniss. I love you"

"I love you too Peeta."

And as he hold me tight, I fall into a nightmare less sleep.

* * *

><p>We both wake up to Effie's rapid knocking on the door telling us how big of a day it's going to be. Then I remember. The 7 of us, the remaining victors, will have to be the jury for Peacekeeper Thread's trial. Peacekeeper Thread, the one who whipped Gale for hunting a turkey, the one who whipped me across the face when I tried to protect him.<p>

I am furious with Haymitch, because I know he knew about this. He likes to keep secrets from us. Damn Haymitch.

Peeta and I get dressed and go to the dining car to get some breakfast. Haymitch is sitting at the table.

"Good morning Peeta. Katniss." he nods at us. I just glare at him.

"Who pissed in your cheerios this morning?" Haymitch says.

I take a piece of toast and sit down in the seat farthest from him.

"Seriously, why are you treating me like-"

"Did you know about the trial?" Peeta asks

"What trial? I don't know about any trial-"

"Bullshit you didn't know about the trial" I say and slam my tightly wound fist on the table.

"Seriously, what are you guys talking about?" he questions again, and I let Peeta answer him.

"The trial for peacekeeper Thread...remember him?"

"Damn, how is he still alive? And okay, so their trying him for his crimes. Why is that such a big deal?"

"Because we all have to be on the jury. Me,you, Peeta, Johanna, Annie, Beetee, and Enobaria. We all have to decide what his punishment is, and I don't really find that fair to any of us. Why should we have to decide what happens to him? Honestly, if I had my way, I would shoot him myself. But we all know Annie's going to want all of us to be impartial, and we all know I suck at being impartial, especially towards a peacekeeper who whipped me across the face." I say bitterly.

I get up and shove my chair underneath the table. Peeta and Haymitch stare at me, open-mouthed.

"Katniss I-" Haymitch starts to say but I interrupt him

"Sorry. I'm going to sit somewhere else" I say as I stalk away.

I hole myself up in a closet in one of the bedrooms. I pull my knees up to my chest and take deep breaths.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am on a train that is heading towards the Capitol. Peeta is on the train. Haymitch is on the train. Effie is on the train. I have to decide whether or not to put Thread in jail. I don't know why I have to choose. I don't know why I have to choose._

I'm interrupted by Effie flinging the closet door open. She crouches down and looks at me through her fake purple eyelashes.

"Now Katniss, lets get out of the dirty supply closet, shall we? We're almost there, and I know Peeta will want to be with you when we pass through the city, won't he?"

"I guess" I mumble as I take her outstretched hand and pull myself upward.

She leads me back to where Haymitch and Peeta are sitting. Haymitch appears to be arguing with Peeta about something.

As we get closer to them, their voices become clearer.

Peeta says "Why should she do something she doesn't want to do, why did no one tell us about this?"

"You think I'm not saying the same thing? No one told me about this either, if you remember correctly"

"If she freaks out, I'm leaving with her. No one can force us to do this Haymitch, haven't we all been through enough?"

"I don't know Peeta, they just want a good show. They still want a good show. And if that means putting the last of us through emotional hell then by all means why not?"

I choose that moment to open the door I'm standing behind. Effie trails closely behind me

"I'll do it. But I won't be happy about it." I offer.

"Good girl Katniss. Still playing the game" Haymitch says with a smirk.

"I'll never stop playing the game. Not for them anyway."

At that moment the light outside of the train goes dark. I know we're in a tunnel, one of the many that lead directly to the Capitol.

Peeta and I walk up to the window and I take his hand.

He looks at me. "Ready?" he says

"I hope so" I return, as the darkness turns to light, and we are faced with a sea of cheering Capitol citizens. They chant our names. Peeta waves and smiles at them.

I let go of his hand and fall back into a seat. I squeeze my eyes shut as a memory resurfaces. One of Peeta waving and smiling to the citizens of the Capitol, and Haymitch telling me the only way to win was to get people to like me.

As the train pulls to a stop, Peeta continues to wave, as security guards stand at the train door blocking us from the crowd.

On the train platform a big sign that no one bothered to take down reads "Welcome Tributes, and may the odds be ever in your favor!"


	4. Chapter 4

After we arrive at the train station, a guard directs us into a car. All four of us climb in and shut the door. I look at Effie. Her face is bright red and she looks upset.

"What's wrong with you?" Haymitch asks her

"What's wrong with me? Aren't you all simply taken aback by that welcome I mean, they could have at least taken down the sign, we all know you two are no longer tributes, no one is, so why is that dreadful sign even hanging up in the first-"

"Effie, you need to calm down" Peeta says. "It's okay. They probably just were too busy preparing for our arrival, and they forgot to take it down." He reassures her.

"Well yes, I suppose you're right." She breathes. "I just don't think it's the proper way to treat victors such as yourselves." she says with a nod at the three of us.

Haymitch begins to ask something about the spiky necklace she's wearing, when Peeta nudges me and points to something. I look out the window and see a tall gray building. The tribute center.

"It's the tribute center..." I say with a questioning look at him. He just nods and squeezes my hand. I look at him again.

"Peeta? Peeta? What's wrong" Now he's taking deep breaths and squeezing his eyes shut. Then I remember. The tribute center is where Peeta was kept after the Quarter Quell. The tribute center is where he was tortured.

"Oh Peeta" I whisper and take his other hand. He keeps breathing heavily and gritting his teeth together when Effie decides now would be a good time to go over the schedule. Haymitch tries to listen to her, as do I, but we're both more focused on the fact that Peeta sounds like he's going lose it.

I lift my eyes, which had been focused on Peeta's hands squeezing mine, to meet Haymitch's.

"Flashback" He mouths to me, and I have sudden re considerations on whether or not this trip was the best idea. Obviously Peeta is alright with seeing me, but he hasn't been back to the Capitol since I was supposed to kill Snow.

After a while, Peeta's breathing returns to normal and his eyes open. He looks tired.

"You okay?" I ask and push his damp hair off of his forehead.

"I think so. I haven't had a flashback that bad in a long time"

"Was it the tribute center?"

"I don't know, but the flashback was the day where they took me from the arena. I was knocked out and I woke up, but they wouldn't tell me anything. I kept asking for you, and they told me if I told them about the rebel plan, then they would tell me where you were. But I obviously didn't know anything about the plan, so they never told me where you were. I thought they had killed you. Until Beetee broke through with that video of you, what was it called?"

"A propo"

"Yeah, the propo of you. Anyway, that's why I warned you about the bombs, because I knew you were alive, and that I needed to save you, even if it meant risking my life."

Everyone in the car is hanging onto Peeta's every word.

"Because that's what you and I do..." I start

"protect each other" he finishes. I put my head on his shoulder.

I look at Haymitch and Effie, forgetting they were in the car with us.

Effie's crying, and Haymitch looks like he's about to vomit on both of us.

"Quit it with the lovey dovey stuff" he says, but we know he's joking.

Effie's still crying. I reach out and take one of Effie's hands, and Peeta does the same. We sit there together until the car comes to a stop. I look out the window. We're at Snow's mansion.

After we walk up the steps to the house, we ring the doorbell. We're greeted by Paylor. "Hello. Katniss, Peeta." she says with a nod at us. "So glad you could join us"

Peeta and I walk inside hand and hand, leaving Effie and Haymitch at the front door. I hear voices drifting from a room down the hallway. As we get closer, I hear Plutarch's voice talking about some sort of lunch banquet. "I _am_ hungry" Peeta says, as we round the corner and walk through the doorway, into a dining room. No one notices us at first, but Annie, who's holding a baby, calls out our names in her soft voice.

"Katniss! Peeta!" She says, and puts the baby in some sort of seat that's next to her chair. She races up to us, and hugs me, then Peeta. "Hi!" Peeta says, and we walk with her over to the table, where we are greeted by everyone else.

"I guess we're the last ones to arrive!" Peeta says as I hear someone behind us call my name.

"Beetee!" I practically yell, and lean down to hug him. Beetee's the one who thought up the plan to rescue Peeta. "Hello Peeta" he says.

"Hello." Peeta responds.

We both smile at Enobaria, who smiles in return with her sharpened teeth. We aren't too friendly with her.

We walk over to Plutarch. He rises from his chair and shakes Peeta's hand. "Long time no see" He says to both of us.

"How are things?" Peeta asks

"Things are better. Things are better than they have been in a long time." he says.

We cross the room and go back to Annie, who introduces us to her baby.

"His name is Finn" she says quietly, because all of us are thinking about Finnick.

"He's beautiful Annie, he really is" Peeta says, and she nods.

"Do you want to hold him Katniss?" she asks

"I'm not really good with babies Annie, I would probably do something wrong"

"Are you sure?" she questions.

"Okay, just for a little while" I agree, and take the baby from her. "Are you okay if I go over there?" she says and points to where Beetee is. I nod and sit down in her chair. "Hi Finn, hi baby boy" I coo as I bounce Finn up and down on my knee. Peeta reaches out and tickles him, which makes him laugh.

Peeta keeps making silly faces at Finn, when Johanna comes into the room. She walks over to us.

"Well, well, well, look who already popped one out" she says with an approving nod. "Well done" she says, but Peeta shakes his head. "He's not ours Johanna. He's Annie's and Fin-"

"I know, you don't have to say it" she says and stalks away from us. "Don't you just love her?" Peeta says, and I laugh. Annie comes back over and the three of us sit and talk, until Haymitch and Effie decide to grace us with their presence.

"Where have you two been?" Peeta asks.

"We were just looking around the mansion. Paylor showed us around. She said she would be here in a minute." Haymitch says, and sure enough, a few minutes later, Paylor walks through the door.

She and Plutarch walk to the front of the room.

"Hello everyone!" she says. "Welcome back. Thank you all for joining us. I know Plutarch and myself are very happy that you all could come and visit us. Now, let's get down to business shall we? Many of you may or may not have heard a story on the news about the 7 of you having to be the jury for a trial, but I am here to assure you all, that is not the case. None of you have to decide if anyone will go to jail. I wouldn't make any of you do that."

I look over at Haymitch, and breathe a sigh of relief. He smiles at me. "Something tells me he had a lot to do with that decision" Peeta whispers to me, and I nod.

"Now. I know you all have been informed that you are here to vote on Panem's new government, so that's what we're going to do. If anyone has any opinions to give, raise your hand and I'll call on you so you can speak. No talking over anyone or interrupting. Any questions?" she looks around the room.

"Good. Okay. To start, we're writing a new treaty of treason, but we want to make sure it includes things that will remind us of our past, and protect us from things like The Hunger Games happening again in the future. Any ideas on what we should add?"

Beetee raises his hand. "I propose that we include how we were forced and terrorized into partaking in the games. I also propose that we make some sort of rule list, laws if you will, that everyone has to follow, people in the Districts and in the Capitol."

"Good idea" Paylor says, as she takes out a clipboard and pen which she hands to Effie. "Can you take notes?" she asks her, and of course, Effie is happy to oblige.

"Now where were we, the rules. What rules should we have to follow?"

Beetee raises his hand again. "Everyone should be treated fairly. No more poor districts and wealthier districts. I can understand if the Capitol is richer, but the districts should all be the same."

"Alright, good" Paylor says. Annie raises her hand.

"I think we should make a rule saying that all crimes will be punished the same, no matter where you live. For example, if I live in District 12 and I steal some bread, I should get put in jail for a month, and if I live in District 5 or any other district and I steal some bread, I should get put in jail for a month as well. That way everything is equal"

"Good idea Annie" Paylor says.

We all bounce around ideas for a couple of hours, adding and subtracting from our list, when I have an idea. I forget that I'm supposed to raise my hand, and immediately start talking. Paylor, who was speaking, silences herself and gives me her full attention.

"I think we need to have a system in place to help those in need. Everyone has more than they could ever want in the Capitol, but in the districts? People are still starving, people are still hungry. And it's not a fun way to live, trust me, I know. We could do something like give them food bags, or money to buy food. It would be like parcel day, but every month. We need to treat the people that live in this country the way we would treat each other. Does anyone remember the reason that we even had a war in the first place? Because people were angry at the government for not taking care of them! Sure, all of us were unfortunate enough to have to participate in the games, but to some people, dying in the arena was a better alternative than continuing life in the districts. If we want to keep the citizens of Panem on our side, we better do everything we can to treat them right, because Snow sure as hell didn't. We need to show them that we do care about them, that we want to help them..." I can't think of anything else to say, and everyone is staring at me, wide eyed.

Peeta speaks up. "She's right. People used to say, '_District 12, where you can starve to death in safety'._"

Paylor looks at all of us for a moment, before saying "Katniss, that is brilliant. All in favor of Katniss' plan raise your hand" and one by one, every one in the room raises their hand.

Paylor nods her head. "It's settled then."

She tell us that we are all free to go and do whatever we want for the rest of the day, and that we should all meet back here tomorrow morning.

She leaves with Plutarch.

* * *

><p>Those of us remaining sit there and stare at each other for moment, before Johanna breaks the silence.<p>

"I don't even know what there is to really do here. Honestly, the only times I've been here it's been for the Games, or to be tortured by Snow."

"I don't think any of us really associate the Capitol with the word fun" Peeta says with a laugh.

"Well, good thing I had planned a schedule out just in case" Effie says, and I look at Peeta and roll my eyes.

"Effie, what joyous activities do you have planned for us this time?" Haymitch questions

"Well there's a couple museums downtown, and there's this fabulous-"

I tune her out and look across the table. Johanna and Enobaria are laughing hysterically about something. Probably Effie.

Eventually we all decide to just let Beetee show us around the Mansion. The parts I remember are mostly closets and little compact spaces where I used to hide.

Beetee leads us through a maze of rooms, most of which have silly names like "The Thinking Room" and "The Quiet Room". Peeta and I hang back, and separate ourselves from everyone else.

Halfway through our tour, we stop for lunch. We sit all together at a large oak table. After lunch, we all kind of mingle and talk for a while. In all reality, I just talk to Annie and Beetee.

Peeta is over socializing with Johanna and Enobaria, and Beetee keeps talking about finding some communications guy, so Annie and I find a quiet corner and sit and talk while she feeds Finn.

"So how are you and Peeta?" she asks

"We're fine. After he got back from the Capitol things picked up right where they left off" I reply, but I'm pretty sure she knows I'm lying.

"How are you really?" she says

"Do you really want to know?" I ask

"Only if you want to tell me" she responds. And I do want to tell her, but I think saying the words out loud would make them real. That Peeta and I hadn't spoken with each other for months, or even seen each other. That neither of us are better, and there's a good chance that neither of us will even get better.

"Things haven't been...the best between us" I tell her. "After Peeta got home from the Capitol, we kind of shut ourselves away from each other. Two days ago when we started getting ready to come here was the first time I had seen him in months. I love him Annie, I really do. I don't know what happened. He seems alright with everything, and we kind of started off badly but we're a little better now. Before I was afraid to hold his hand, because I was afraid that he would try to hurt me again, but he won't. I know that now."

She silently nods her head at me.

"Do you want to know what happened when Finnick first met me?"

"What?"

"I was having an episode, a really bad one. Now they aren't bad, but for years after my games I could barely go outside. Anyway. Finnick had just been in the Capitol I guess, because he was on his way back from the train station when he saw me huddled on the side of the road with my hands over my ears. He didn't ask any questions, he just sat with me until it was over. Then he asked to walk me home. I let him, and he showed up at my house the next day, asking me if I wanted to go swimming with him. Sometimes love is seeing someone else at their worst, and loving them at their worst, before loving them at their best. That's the easy part"

I take her hand. I notice she's got tears in her eyes. "Katniss, don't let him go. For me. For Finnick" She says, and I nod.

"I won't" I whisper.


	5. Chapter 5

**AN: Hi everyone! I just wanted to say thanks from the bottom of my heart to everyone who has read, favorited, followed, and reviewed this story! (It occurred to me I hadn't said thank you yet, and it's been a couple chapters) It makes my day when I get an email saying someone else has reviewed/followed. Also, this chapter is kind of short, I've had to work a lot this week and I haven't had as much time as I would have like to write it. Anyways, if anyone has any suggestions for the story, please leave them in the reviews, or PM me :) Thanks!**

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><p>That night, after we all eat dinner, Peeta, Effie, Haymitch and I go back to the car that will drive us to the hotel Plutarch and Paylor have us staying in. When we get there, Peeta and Effie go up to the desk to get the room keys. Haymitch and I take a seat in the chairs along the wall to wait for them

"Quite a display you put on today. With that whole speech about the hungry and 12"

"Thanks" I say. "Why do we not have to be on the jury all of a sudden?" I ask him.

"Effie and I talked to Paylor. Told her it wouldn't be a good idea to have two mentally unstable teenagers, along with everyone else on a jury for a man who was working with Snow. I told Paylor it could be part of the new government. That everyone should be tried fairly in court. Even if Thread was working for Snow."

"Thanks Haymitch" I tell him.

"Now, about the boy" he says "Katniss, why all of sudden are you cozying up to him again? After months of nothing. Because if you're pretending again, I swear"

"Haymitch, obviously I'm not doing that. I love Peeta, I missed him. I was just afraid I guess. Afraid that he would hurt me again, and I know he won't. You know how hard it is for me to trust people"

"Yeah I know. Just be careful, alright. Don't...don't take things too fast. He still could have some issues to work through that he isn't telling anyone about. You know him, he doesn't want to upset any of us."

I'm about to respond, when Effie and Peeta walk up with the room keys.

"Alright then. Haymitch, you will be in room 190, on the second floor, and Katniss and Peeta will be in room 115 on the third floor. We will meet here for breakfast in the morning, now go get some sleep. God knows what tomorrow will bring" she sighs and walks away.

Haymitch looks at both of us. "I need to talk to you guys"

We both nod and follow him down a hallway into an elevator. Once the doors close, Peeta says "What do you want to talk to us about Haymitch?"

"It's about the two of you. Your...relationship if you will. Everyone, okay mainly Plutarch, has been asking all day if you two are together or not. I kept telling everyone I didn't know, because honestly, I don't know. I know you two love each other, that's apparent, but are you two back together again? I know you both had a hard time when Peeta came back, and you hadn't talked in months, so I didn't want to tell people no, but I didn't want to tell them yes either. Think either of you might be able to clarify that for me?"

"Um, I guess we're together again. We haven't really discussed it..." Peeta reaches his hand out to me, and I take it.

"We're together Haymitch. We aren't what we used to be before the games, but I think this is almost better. There aren't any threats to our relationship this time. No President Snow to force us into pretending to be in love, no pressure to get married, or to be in the perfect relationship just to prevent the entire country from having a rebellion. There's just us." He smiles and hugs me.

The doors to the elevator ding open, and Haymich says "Take it easy with the silolqouy boy. This is my floor. Goodnight. Don't get yourselves into too much trouble"

After the door close, Peeta wraps his arms around me. "I missed you so much" he whispers into my ear.

"I missed you too" I whisper back. We press the number 3 button and wait for the doors to open on our floor.

They open, and we walk down the hallway trying to find our door. "115. Here it is." Peeta says as he puts the card in the little slot. I pull the handle and the door swings open. Inside the room, there's a little kitchen area with a table and two chairs to the right. On the table, there's a giftbasket, with a note. It says, "Welcome to the Capitol. Hope you enjoy your stay. Best regards, Plutarch".

"Well that was nice of him" Peeta says. "We'll have to remember to thank him for it tomorrow" I nod and flip on the rest of the lights. In the middle of the room is a couch, with a TV across from it. There's a balcony, and another door leading to the bedroom.

"Shall we?" Peeta says as he takes my hand and leads me into the bedroom. In it, we find what is quite possibly the biggest bed I've ever seen. It's decorated with a thick comforter, and about 100 pillows. I resist the urge to throw myself face first into the pillows because I'm so wiped out, but I just stand there with Peeta.

"I think I'm going to take a shower" he says, and grabs some clean clothes and heads to the bathroom.

While he's showering, I busy myself unwrapping the gift basket and splaying its contents out onto the table. Inside there's an assortment of fruit, chocolate, candies, and bread. I'm making plates for Peeta and I when he emerges from the bathroom.

We take our plates to the couch and turn on a movie. It's some romance movie, I'm not really interested in it but Peeta's staring intently at the screen. The movie ends, and he looks at me.

"What?" I ask

"We used to do that didn't we. Kiss like that"

I can feel the memory of the last kiss Peeta and I shared, where he was handcuffed to the wall, and everyone else had left, and Peeta wanted me to leave him there, and I wouldn't leave him there, and he just kept telling me he couldn't hang on, so, in a moment of panic, I kissed him, and told him to stay with me, and once his eyes returned to normal, I told him always. Because that's what Peeta and I do. We protect each other.

"We did Peeta. We used to kiss like that a lot. We kissed like that for the cameras sometimes, but other times it was just us." I tell him

"You kissed me like that in the Quell. Real or not real?"

I take his hand in mine. "Real."

We go to bed soon after, and I don't have any nightmares, not tonight, knowing Peeta's sleeping right beside me.


	6. Chapter 6

In the middle of the night I wake up suddenly. I roll over, expecting to find Peeta. Instead, the bed is empty. I sit up and rub my eyes. I look at the clock. 2:30. It's the middle of the night, where on earth could Peeta be?

I stuff my feet into my slippers and get up to check the rest of the room, to try and find where Peeta is, but I can't find him anywhere. I'm starting to panic. Where is Peeta, why did he leave without telling me? My heart is racing, and I try to calm myself down.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am in the Capitol. Peeta is in the Capitol. Peeta went to sleep next to me. He isn't there. He isn't anywhere. I can't find him. Where did he go?_

I try and continue deep breathing, like I used to when I would have a panic attack, but now it only makes me feel lightheaded.

Panicked, I tell myself that he probably just went down to the lobby for something, or he went for a walk. I shake my head and climb back under the covers. I toss and turn for 15 minutes, but Peeta still doesn't return. I decide to call Haymitch. He answers on the third ring.

"What do you want Katniss, it's 3 o' clock in the morning"

"Where's Peeta?"

"Isn't he with you?"

"No, he's not. I don't know where he went" I can feel my heart start to race again "I was sleeping, and I woke up, and I just, I just don't know where he went. Haymitch where did he go?"

"Katniss, don't move, I'm coming" he says and hangs up. Minutes later, I hear a knock on the door.

"Open up sweetheart, it's me" Haymitch says.

I unlock the door and let him in. He searches our room, the bathroom, and the kitchen, but he can't find Peeta anywhere either.

"Did he wake you up before he left? Maybe he left a note or something..." he says, searching on the dresser for a piece of paper.

"I just woke up and he was, he was-" I sit down on the bed and curl my knees up to my chest. "He wasn't there. Haymitch, what if they took him again, Haymitch what if they took him again?" I start to panic, and Haymitch grabs my wrist and tells me to calm down, when the door opens and Peeta walks into the room.

I jump up and throw my arms around his neck. "Hi, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks me as he hugs me back. I don't let go. "I woke up and you were gone" I say into his chest.

"I just needed to go for a walk. I had a nightmare and-"

"Why didn't you wake me?" I demand, finally letting go of his neck, and taking his hands instead.

"You were sleeping, I didn't want to disturb you-"

"DISTURBING ME IS BETTER THAN LEAVING ME AND NOT TELLING ME WHERE YOU'RE GOING" I yell at him, but Haymitch interjects before I can get any louder.

"Peeta, that wasn't smart. Next time, wake her, or leave a note. That way, we can all sleep, and I don't get a phone call telling me that you're missing again. Goodnight. I'll see you two later" He says and slams the door behind him.

"Why did you call Haymitch?" Peeta asks incredulously. "I just left the room for a minute, you were sleeping"

"Well when I woke up, you were gone. Peeta, I didn't know what to think, I thought-I was worried that-"

"That what Katniss?" He steps closer to me

"That they would take you away from me again" I whisper and look at the floor, embarrassed.

"Katniss?" Peeta looks me in the eyes. "Can I ask you something?"

"Anything Peeta" I tell him

"Can I kiss you?" I stand there for a moment, shocked at the words that have come out of Peeta's mouth.

I don't even bother answering, I just grab the sides of his face with my hands, and lean his mouth so it's almost touching mine.

"Always" I whisper, before leaning in and kissing him slowly. He kisses me back.

Kissing Peeta feels so natural. Suddenly, I'm back in the arena, on the beach, where we had our last kiss like this. Where we weren't preforming for the cameras, where we weren't trying to win a war or convince an entire country of our love for each other. Just us.

He finally pulls away and says, "I love you Katniss" I smile at him and take his hand. We climb back under the sheets, and before I drift off back to sleep, I whisper "I love you too Peeta."

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><p>When I wake up again, it's light outside. I reach out for Peeta and this time he's there, but he's still sleeping. I quietly get up and head to the bathroom to shower.<p>

I turn the knob and soon steam fills the bathroom. I undress and climb under the stream of water. It burns my skin, but I don't mind.

I wash my hair with shampoo that smells like coconut, and use a pouf to wash the rest of my body with a soap that has little pieces of glitter sprinkled throughout. It seems like something Effie would enjoy.

Once I'm finished, I stand under the water for a while, thinking about what happened last night between Peeta and I.

_My name is Katniss Everdeen. I am in the Capitol with Peeta. Peeta is sleeping. Peeta and I kissed last night. I realized I missed kissing Peeta. I want to kiss Peeta again..._

My daily ritual of sorting out what is real and what is not real in my mind is interrupted when the bathroom door swings open. I peak my head out from behind the shower curtain, but it's just Peeta.

"Good morning" I say, and it startles him. I guess he was half sleeping when he wandered in here.

"God Katniss, I-Katniss" he says as he squeezes his eyes shut and covers them with his hands for good measure.

"I didn't realize you were in here. I'll wait-"

"Just hand me my towel" I say and reach my hand out. He hands it to me, I wrap it around myself, and pull back the curtain.

He starts to brush his teeth as I walk past him towards the door. I stand behind him and smile, and he says something that sounds like "That's a nice look", but it's a bit hard to understand him with his toothbrush in his mouth.

I'm just finishing getting dressed when he emerges from the bathroom. I'm dressed in a pair of black jeans with a fitted top that's almost white, but not quite.

"You look nice" Peeta says.

"Yeah, thank Effie. She's the one who put me in it" I find the pants restricting and uncomfortable. But I know we're probably doing some sort of interview today, and we have to be camera ready.

"Is Caesar still here in the Capitol?" I ask Peeta, and he shrugs.

"Not sure. Last time I saw him was the day they beat me senseless for warning you about the attack on 13" He pauses "I did tell you about that? Real or not real?"

"Real. You saved lots of people. We had a few extra minutes to evacuate because of your warning. Coin didn't think you were being serious, but Haymitch and I convinced her otherwise. She didn't really like to listen to us"

"Good thing she's not in charge anymore" Peeta says as he stands up. I laugh, because we both know what happened to Coin.

"Want to go get something to eat?" He asks

I nod my head and take his hand. As we stand in the elevator, I glance at him to see if he's going to mention what happened last night, but he doesn't. So I decide not to mention it either.

We get to the dining room, and Peeta grabs some toast with jam, and I just eat a banana. I usually don't even eat breakfast when I'm home.

Haymitch and Effie join us soon after. Effie briefs Peeta and I on what we're expected to do during the interviews. Effie's talking about how I have to remember to sit up straight, when Haymitch interrupts her.

"Just be yourselves. You two don't have to act for the cameras anymore. Just do what feels right. Answer honestly, but thoughtfully. You aren't trying to win any sponsors this time around, you both know that."

"So, you want us to just act natural?" Peeta asks

"That's exactly what I want" Haymitch tells us.

We finish eating and get into the car that will take us to the building where the interviews will be conducted. As we ride, I hold Peeta's hand.

Within minutes, the car pulls up to a tall white building.

"Remember, just be yourselves" Haymitch reminds us

He helps Effie out of the car, and then me.

As we walk towards the front doors, Peeta looks at me and says "You ready?"

"Ready as I'll ever be" I tell him.

Hand in hand, we walk through the front doors. We're greeted by a sea of flashing cameras. I shut my eyes and try to block out the reporters yelling our names. "Katniss! Peeta! Katniss!" they shout, closing in on us until I feel like I can no longer breathe.

"Back off" Haymitch hisses as he pushes them away with his arm.

They continue to close in on us, and when one grabs my shoulder and attempts to shove a camera in my face, Haymitch puts his fist through the lens, which causes Effie to start tittering about how "this isn't very festive", which is typical.

I cling to Peeta as we're corralled into an elevator, one that will supposedly take us to the interview space. The four of us stand in silence, until the doors open and we're joined by Johanna.

"Are you going to strip this time?" Haymitch asks her, and Effie hits him on the chest

"Why on earth would you ask such a-" but Johanna silences her.

"Last time we were on an elevator...I put on a little show. But I can't do that now, because I'm not dressed like a tree, because my stylist is dead" she says with a sarcastic grin.

Haymitch laughs, and Effie turns bright red. Peeta looks at me and grins. I grin back. I remember how freaked out I was by all of the tributes at the Quell.

The doors open again, and Johanna steps off.

"I'll see you later" she says to all of us, and walks away.

The doors open to reveal a wide open room, with windows on three walls, and a mirror on the fourth. In the corner sits Ceasar, who is dressed in a lime green suit, which matches his lime green hair.

"Apparently he was pardoned" Peeta whispers to me as we approach him

"Peeta! Katniss! How is my favorite couple doing?" He asks and flashes his unnaturally white teeth.

"Uh, we're good Ceasar. We're really good" Peeta says, and looks at me.

"When do we start?" I ask, and Ceasar leads us over to a couch. We sit down, and the red light above the camera begins to blink.

Ceasar turns to the camera.

"Gooooodddddddd afternoon Panem! I'm here today with two very special guests, everyone's favorite, Katniss and-" A look of shock spreads across Ceasar's face as I hear a crash behind me. One of the glass windows is shattered, and glass shards are scattered everywhere. I turn around and see a little black rectangle sitting on the floor. My heart stops and I lunge for Peeta before I can even recognize what it is.

Everything happens at once. Haymitch yells "DUCK" as the bomb explodes, sending Peeta flying across the room from me. I yell his name, and try to get to him, but I can't move. I'm trapped.


End file.
